Is it me?

Staring at the mirror I thought “Oh god! Is it me?”

Clad in red shorts and white tee, all wet in sweat, sitting very comfortably on my friend’s couch waiting for her to get ready so that we could proceed towards the terrace and start with our game, I looked like a complete guy. I was 8 then. Biologically a girl but more of a tom boy! I had practically no qualities of a girl. My wardrobe gave an appearance that it was of some young boy and perhaps it was only at school or maybe when I visited some relative of mine that I was spotted in skirts! But that day something strange happened. For the first time I noticed that I looked like a boy, dressed like a boy and even had a haircut like a boy!

And then suddenly I started observing my friends who were girls. They were unlike me. Calm and composed, soft spoken away from fights! I was just the other way around, loud, ring leader of the group as quoted in my uncle’s word, always up with mischief’s and that too deadly one like playing with fire, experimenting with electrical sockets, involved in terrible fights with my cousins and other guys of my apartment which sometimes worsened because guys would not give up if punched by a girl and the same applied for me too. I was poles apart from other girls!

But then something struck me that day. It was not that I wanted to be like a guy but I had never realised that I acted like a guy! And after becoming conscious about this fact, I wanted to change myself. Changes were slow. In fact very slow!

The first change was that of my attire. I now had those frills and frocks which I once considered absolutely silly to wear! The next area of concern was to control my loud voice and moreover control my anger and stop hitting guys! And this was difficult. It took years. And by the time I was 11, I had, started developing girl instincts!

The major transformation took place when I was admitted to Notre Dame Academy in class 7^th. I had always been to a co-education school and it was my very first experience to join a girl’s school. Initially it was strange, 60 girls sitting in a room, all wearing same dresses looked the very same! I had a hard time memorising their names. But the most challenging job was still to come up, judging their natures, and poor I, till date i am very weak at it! I missed my friends from my previous school because I had no friends here. And it was difficult to make friends when everyone was so full of attitude and sense of letting the other one down. For a month I had my lunch with my cousin who was in the junior section until one day she suggested me to mingle with my class mates and develop a rapport. And once I tried, I was through! I made new friends.

And I learned a lot new things which I was poor at; a sense of creativity topped the list. Making bulletin boards on innovative topics with all sorts of craft paper, learning new art forms like pot painting, collage making, book binding, knitting, tie and dye, different stitches etc were all I developed an interest in. All this was so exciting and very new to me and I enjoyed doing it! Slowly and steadily I was more of a girl now.

Over the years things have changed. Now I like to wear a little bit of jewellery too but a lot of it still makes me crazy if it’s not something really trendy. I love wearing suits for some formal occasions. My interest in makeup had diversified. Nail paints of all funky shades, eyeliners and kohl of different colour, I totally love! Sophistication in voice and mannerism I can carry off well now. So progress is good. But I know I can never be like the pure girly stuff, and moreover I don’t want to become one after all individuality must be respected and one should be loved for it!